I’m sitting here in my typical Sunday night rut of I-need-a-post-for-Monday-but-I-don’t-want-to-write-it. You all know I’m busy. Busy really doesn’t even describe it right now. But every Sunday night is becoming the same thing, the same thoughts. I’m so busy that I don’t really have time to write a post, but I try to bang one out real quick to get my blogging fix or just say “oh well.”
I could write about my friend Chloe coming out for the weekend, which was fabulous. Being with my best friend is such a treat.
I could write about what I did on Martha’s Vineyard or in downtown Boston. They were both beautiful, but it was all bittersweet because I’m leaving this psuedo-home.
And that’s what I’m going to talk about today, since my mind dump last week wasn’t enough. The big mess that is my mind right now because we’re moving in two weeks.
This move was not a surprise at all, although I think it’s been surprising to some of you guys just because I haven’t talked about it a lot. I also didn’t mention that we’re only moving to Texas for a few months and then moving somewhere else after that that I don’t know yet. All this moving is related to my husband’s job, but for his wishes, I don’t talk about what he does and thus talking about this move wasn’t high on my list of things to blog about, so forgive me for seeming mysterious.
If I was my normal, pre-baby self, I would be so organized right now for the move, but my house is a constant state of disarray. I feel like every week this summer has just been the act of playing catch up from the previous week. Although it’s pretty hard to have a routine with a newborn, she’s not really a newborn now and a routine is exactly what she needs. I really long to have a schedule of some sorts, but most days because I have so much going on before the move, a schedule is just a joke at this point.
I’m pretty anxious right now because of all I have going on. I am trying to see all my good friends before we move, trying to hang out with some new mom friends for weekly meet ups (and now I’m so sad I have to leave these brand new friends), I just started physical therapy for my back because I basically have zero core strength + tons of back pain still due to pregnancy, so I have those appointments twice a week now.
I also still try to clean my house (hah), grocery shop + run other errands, workout, and read when I can. Blogging is legit coming dead last right now with everything else I have going on. And I just feel like I’m in one of those seasons where I feel really misunderstood/upset a lot, and blogging when things are tough in real life is impossible for me.
What wasn’t tough, though, was being out over the weekend, living life with my best friend and baby & just not caring that I wasn’t “connected” or giving people what they wanted. I had no time to worry about things like that. But now that I sit back at home and wonder about the week, I let the perfectionist pleaser inside me come out to play and worry I won’t be able to keep up this week.
I feel bad telling people I can’t hang out because I’m busy or that I don’t even want to hang out because I’m just tired of being out of the house all. day. long. But as I sit here dawning on a new week, I know that I have to do what’s best for me right now, even if it means saying no or “missing out” on something.
These last two weeks are going to be nuts. My husband is traveling, we’re possibly leaving Claire with a baby sitter this week, we are supposed to go on a trip over the weekend but might cancel (because emergerd not another trip). And the week after that my sister comes out & it’s our going away party! It’s going so fast. Oh, and somehow Claire is three months old this week?!
I need to stop and catch my breath!
Questions for You:
- Is it hard for you to be “real” online when things get crazy or you’re upset?
- Do I need to have these real talk posts more often?