Been a hot minute since I’ve been around these woods. I have been giving myself grace upon grace upon grace these days. Life has been busy with a capital B.
What have I been up to?
Well, somehow my kids are 2 and 1/2 and 6 months already. If anyone could tell me how that happened, that’d be great. I seriously don’t know where the time goes. The baby days are definitely going way way faster this time around with Stella. She is the sweetest, but seriously – where did my baby go?!
What am I doing in every day life?
I am a table leader at a local MOPs group and totally loving that. It’s kept me plenty busy and feels good to be involved in something bigger than just my own family and for other moms.
I’m very focused on photography. I wasn’t sure how interested or able I’d be able to pursue my business with a 2nd baby but it’s all working out because that’s where I truly want to be. I was fully booked with clients for this month and next, so I am plenty busy with that.
a recent favorite from a family session of some friends of mine
Most my days are still at this point really just about survival, though. Although I never experienced the “two under two” thing for very long (literally 2 weeks), kids 2 years apart are still plenty close in age to exhaust you 😉
Claire is talking a lot more, but also understands and remembers things more than I realized a 2 and a 1/2 year old would. We were out the other day and she must have remembered the one time we went to Dunkin Donuts (yas, Hawaii finally got one!) because we were near it so she started saying “duuunuuuutssss” in the back seat. Guess where we ended up, lol.
That’s just a small example of her memory. It’s becoming a lot harder to deal with that though because she actually remembers if I say “we’re going to see your friend tomorrow,” and then we inevitably won’t! Oops! I can reason with her more though, so that’s nice but I would say the first 6 months of two was woof, so rough.
Stella is really great and sheesh, I am so the “2nd kid problems” mom with her baby updates. I will honestly probably just do a few more general ones now if any at all, whoops! Still loving monthly photos though!
She just started eating and loving solid foods. Her sleep really regressed and she wakes up 1-3 times a night now and hasn’t slept through the night in probably months. If she is fed and not overtired, she is the smileyest happy baby though. I just wanna eat her. She’s great.
I’ve been trying to nail down a good routine for us, but between juggling two kid’s different nap schedules, toddler meltdowns, and poopsplosions, it’s been 6 months since Stella entered the family and we have yet to really have a “routine.” But even as soon as we’d nail one down, everything invariably changes right? I just try to take it day by day, get out when we can, and stay home when I just want a PJ day, which is more often than I ever used to “allow.”
I started seeing a therapist about two months ago, so it is part of our routine that I usually have a baby sitter once a week so I can at the very least go to that appointment, if not also run an errand or just have some alone time. I can’t even tell you how guilty I feel as a primarily stay-at-home-mom to need a baby sitter. Because I should be able to do it all, right? But that is honestly the reason I am in therapy to begin with, because I put all these impossible demands on myself. I just know that before I was a mom, I would have probably judged another stay-at-home parent big time for needing a baby sitter. Because, uh, why did you have kids if you wanted someone else to raise them?! 😉 Literally my thoughts when I was nanny before. Oh, younger me. *slaps self*
Anyway, I wish I could say that’s been amazing but it’s just been “eh.” I have enjoyed it the more I go, and maybe I’ll share more about that someday, idk. Finding childcare for that each week is actually the hardest part. I usually go Fridays and it’s Wednesday and I still have no idea who is watching the girls! So that’s a fun game to play every week. And yes, I’ve tried care.com and a ton of other places with no avail.
I’m also single parenting it for a while right now. Still very much married to my better half, but he is on an extended work trip now. So that just makes things all a little bit harder too.
I would say really, ever since we got to Hawaii has been a hard time for me. I realized how much change we have really gone through when a Facebook memory popped up on my newsfeed. It was a picture of me and my husband in Boston. I was 12 weeks pregnant with Claire. I just look so much younger, even though it was just 3 years ago. But in 3 years, we’ve moved twice, had two kids, I’ve started a side business, my husband started a new job, and now we’re here. That’s just a lot of change going in a pretty short amount of time. So it made me feel a little better about realizing the past 6 months have just been crazy and hard.
However, I did just rejoin my gym and after a few workouts there that left me feeling strong and not like I just had a baby, I’m starting to think I’m on the upward swing here. It was just the first time I really felt like myself the other day, leaving a BODYPUMP class. Such a great high!
I truly hate being such a wishy-washer blogger, but in this season of life it just is what it is. I almost quit this place a year ago now, and while I’m not fully here, I’m also not fully quitting either. Photography has kind of morphed into my expressive “thing” over the blog lately, but writing always makes me feel better and helps organize my thoughts too. Plus, I have a bajillion drafts of neat post ideas I’d like to write. So hi again.
Thanks for catching up 🙂
Questions for You:
- Do you have a hard time accepting harder seasons of your life?
- What are you interested in for future posts, should I, you know, ever have time to write them?