Lately, everything I see on social media is honestly a bit much. It’s just so fast-moving, all over the place, and overwhelming at times. Do you ever feel that way?
People are really honing in on using social media for things instead of just for personal use. It seems like everyone is doing something, selling something, part of some boot camp, trying some new product, going to an event, or building a business. That in and of itself is great.
But I’ve seen so much of it lately that it’s made me wonder, “Is everyone doing something but me?” Should I be a health coach? Should I join an MLM company? Should I run a day care or sell things on Etsy or become a photographer? Something about all the things people are doing lately made me feel like doing my own life is not enough.
I know, just another sob story about comparison on the internet. But I have a feeling some of you can relate. All of this has made me realize two things.
One: people use social media for very different reasons now. It’s not just to document every day life or share something with your friends. Now it’s to grow businesses, reach clients, and target an audience. It’s both great and annoying at times that social media is being used as such because not everyone is doing business in a tactful way. But it is good that there’s a new venue for people with businesses to reach more clients. But overall, it’s changing the way I interact with social media and how I feel. Now people are “doing things” with social media, instead of just sharing life.
Two: most people are not doing all those things. The average person probably doesn’t even use social media regularly or as obsessively as I do as a blogger. A vast majority of people are not always trying new things or getting tons of followers or inspiring people on a daily basis. The “everyone” I talk about when I see people on social media is actually the minority, and I forget that often.
Lately, as I think about what I’ve been seeing and who I follow, I see that I’m unsure of my own purpose. The whole stay-at-home-mom gig is exactly what I wanted and I’m so grateful to be able to stay home with Claire. But sometimes it feels like it’s not enough because I’m not “doing” something else. Sometimes I channel my desire to inspire into the blog. Sometimes I really view blogging as my job, despite it’s pathetic paycheck. But I can only work on my blog for so long before I need to take a step back. I do think blogging is part of my purpose, but is there something more?
I told my husband recently that I’m interested in starting to do something else outside the home. I want at least something else that provides consistent face-to-face interaction with adults. Blogging was my something else for a long time, but that’s also at home and still isolating. I threw out the idea of getting certified to teach fitness classes. I have loved fitness for years and would love to get some daily face time with people who I could hopefully inspire. It’s also a nice flexible schedule that I could probably work out well with kids. He wasn’t too keen on the idea because we’d have to throw money at it before we could know if it would really work out and it seems like a totally over-saturated market right now. And I agree. I could be chasing after something that I think is a passion that may actually be a passing phase and it could cost us.
And then sometimes I remember that people look at me and think “Wow, I wish I had a blog. I wish I was doing something like that.” Just this weekend, I got two emails from a new blogger and someone who wants to start a blog who said they loved what I’m doing here. Ummmm, awesome. And yet, I don’t sit here and look at my blog like that a lot of the time because it’s just here already, and I don’t see it for it is really is sometimes.
Although I feel like I want something else, sometimes I wonder if I’m just being dumb and not realizing my purpose, right in front of me.
What if this is it?
What if I am “just” supposed to be a SAHM? I think I’ve honestly been so busy thinking that I need something else that I’m not giving any fuel to what I have right in front of me, letting what could be my actual purpose seem dry and boring.
I talked about it a little in this post on my spiritual dry season, but a big part of these feelings come from the lack of community I’ve had here. Which is both my fault for not getting connected better and not my fault for the lack of opportunities and flaky people that I can’t change. I sure hope things are better in Hawaii, but I’m trying not be all grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side type too.
Really, I just think I have to stop believing the lie that I can do it all. That I should be more. That I should run a business or do moremoremore. I feel like everything I look at and breathe in these days just says MORE. But lately I just can’t help but feel like more of anything is actually ruining it. Balance is so much better than more. More takes things that were enjoyable and destroys them.
I can’t do it all.
So I don’t want to look at my life and wish I could and have all these “what ifs” float around in my head. What if I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be?
It would be such a shame to miss it.
Questions for You:
- Do you feel like you know your purpose right now and are working toward it, or are you sometimes confused about your purpose in life at the given moment?
- What does your dream job or dream day-to-day look like?