As you probably know, I’m working a brand new full-time job right now. I trained last week, and this week is my first week all on my own. Yesterday was actually my first day manning the office by myself and my day went surprisingly well.
But I bet ya’ll are sick of hearing the words working, full-time, job and/or seeing the hashtag #worklife that I have used less than modestly. I know. I’m sick of it too. It’s only been a week, but I kind of feel like my job as taken over. Or, wait. Nevermind. I kind of accidentally let it.
When I take a step back, I realize that my excitement/worry/total confused-ness about this thing that is my “full-time job” is like a big bubble, obscuring the view I’m normally acustomed to. “Work” is not something that existed for me in 9 hours chunks before last Monday. Work is something I did here and there or from home, and life was the focus. But now my life is work. But again – only because this “work” thing just bounced into my lap like a giant basketball that I am still trying to learn how to hold.
So, accept my sort-of apology for mostly blogging/tweeting/and referring to “work.” I promise I will resume regular blogging tendencies when the “I have a new job” phase wears off. I do not, however, promise to keep myself from starting a “Working Girl” catagory of posts on the blog about how to manage work life, though. ‘Cause that would be cool.
Hope Does Not Achieve
Anyway, what’s really been on my mind is how my life has been lately. Like I said, work feels like it has taken over. I hope to create and live out my best life. But I just haven’t been feeling it the past week.
Okay, you’re right – I should probably cut myself some slack. Last week was my first week of work, afterall. The fact that, yes, I did wake up at the “bum crack of dawn” as one of you lovely readers put it, to workout is kind of awesome. I am so freaking lazy when it comes to getting out a warm bed at any time before about 7:30 am. But I did it. So I should be happy with that, right?
I would be, if I was actually reaching my goals. Just getting up at that time alone should make me happy. But it kind of doesn’t because I didn’t run once last week during the week. How can my little profile thingy over in the sidebar say “runner” if I can’t even get my butt up and do my favorite thing, possibly-ever: run?
Yesterday morning, I got up at 5:30, but laid next to my husband and just kept thinking, “I do no like this.” Leaving my bed. Waking up this early. Not having the freedom to run at the hour I would prefer. Not being able to blog. All the things I could not do. Eventually I snapped out of it but had wasted so much time laying there thinking, that I didn’t have enough time to run like I had hoped.
Hope managed to get me on the elliptical for a pathetic and weak 25 minutes of boring. Hope didn’t get me to run 2-3 miles and feel accomplished. No, that’s where a lot of other things come into play besides hope.
I’m not saying hope is a bad thing. But hope does not achieve anything.
I hope to run 3-4 days a week. I hope to plan healthy meals to bring to work. I hope to look my very best and have good outfits put together to wear to work. I hope to maintain blogging where it’s at and even grow my blog further. All while working 40 hours a week.
Right now, 40 hours is like a huge chunk of lead that I can’t see through. But I know that just “hoping” I can make time for running is going to turn into me never making time for running – or anything else for that matter. I know that anything I want in life is a conscious effort. It’s just really weird to all the sudden realize that e v e r y t h i n g I hope for now requires a conscious effort instead of any easy one.
From Hope to Effort
I do not have working life figured out yet. I am doing pretty good. But I know if I don’t kick it into high gear soon, I will let this less-than-normal activity become standard. And I don’t want that.
Some things that I’m working to consciously put effort into instead of just hope for are…
- actually running 3-4 times a week. This is an obstacle right now because I usually drive to places I run to. I don’t have enough time to drive, run 3 miles and drive back. Unless I wake up at like 4:30-5. And I’m not ready for that yet…
- so far, I’ve been planning my outfits the night before as well as setting my workout clothes out. That helps my morning go a lot smoother.
- packing my lunch the night before
- tidying up before I go to bed to keep my stress levels down (and of course, my house clean)
Somethings I haven’t really understood how to make time for are blogging (on a schedule that fits with work – right now, I blog whenever I can) and reading. Clearly, I have some to-do lists and schedules cut out for me to make.
After some trial & error, I know I can stop hoping and start doing. I know it will all come together.
Questions for You:
- What in your life is typically just a hope and not usually reality? Reading is usually on that list, unless it’s a really good book.