Hello everyone! I’m Heather, and I blog at Fit ‘n’ Cookies. I like to stay fit by working out, and I like to enjoy sweets, preferably cookies I want to give a huge thanks for Melissa for letting me take over her blog today! Hopefully she is enjoying every aspect of her vacation, and I can’t wait to read all about it!
Melissa asked me to talk about anti-perfectionism. I jumped at the chance, because, well, my Type A personality makes me want to be a perfectionist, at all times.
When Melissa asked me to talk about the topic “anti-perfectionism,” I jumped at the chance and started brainstorming what I wanted to talk about. I was overwhelmed with so many ideas, far too many to share. It became hard to narrow it down, but hopefully you will get the point of it all!
Before I get started on the subject anti-perfectionism, I want to clarify that there is a time and place for perfectionism, and some things need to be perfect; like, if you are an engineer, or an architect. I’ll give you those ones! However, on an everyday basis, life doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. In fact, I’m beginning to realize how great it is being imperfect.
All my life, I have grown up being a perfectionist. I always had to have that A grade, I needed a schedule to keep me in check, I always had to be going above and beyond the extra work assigned to me. It was my life, and I was used to it. I have since come to figure out that I have Type A personality, which is fairly common with those who strive for perfection. But, I’ve since determined that striving for perfection is pretty much, dumb.
Did God put us on this Earth to be perfect? No.
Is everything going to happen the way we want it to? No.
Are there going to be obstacles in our way? Yes.
Do we need to get mad at ourselves for something as trivial as being perfect? No.
No matter what we strive for, things come up and stop us from being perfect. Here are some examples:
– Studying your butt off for a test, only to have trouble sleeping the night before and being tired.
– Having 4 miles on the running schedule for today, only to have time for 3.5 miles.
– You needed to get an extra dose of veggies into your day because that’s what the rules say, but you ran out at home.
– You stress over getting your paper done today, even though it isn’t due for 2 weeks.
These are all scenarios I have been apart of, and have surpassed, sort of. Over the past year, I have been really trying to let go of this perfectionist mentality. I don’t really have a purpose for being a perfectionist, which might sound really dumb, but it’s true. I have really come to regret things in my life due to the perfectionist mentality in my life. For me, it’s more a numbers game. I need x number of fruits and veggies and won’t stop until I have them. I need to study, not have fun. I shouldn’t go to that basketball game tonight because I won’t get to bed by 10 o’clock. Sounds completely silly, right? But did I think it at those times? Of course not.
In fact, I really didn’t think anything was wrong. Over the past year, I have come to find out and see what I am missing out on. I am no longer following a specified schedule everyday. If something comes up, I do it. Before, I would pass on the opportunity because I didn’t know about it ahead of time. It isn’t any way to live, and will leave you with regrets.
Now that I just rambled on about how ridiculous of a perfectionist I was (in mostly school work), here are some ways I have come to get over it, and how you can too!
– Think about the good in your disappointments. You won’t learn unless you mess up.
– Start little. I started slowly not asking about plans until the day before the weekend. Then I slowly led up to the day of. Then, it became the hour of. Was it hard? Absolutely. I like plans, and I like to follow them. Not knowing what I would be doing scared me. It still does, actually, but it’s just another obstacle.
– Think about the big picture. Is it going to matter tomorrow if you ran 4 miles today or 3.8? Is it going to matter if you cleaned your entire house in 2 hours, or it took all day while you did other things? You don’t even have to think about it affecting your tomorrow. Think about the future- maybe two weeks, maybe a month from now .If it is going to be looked back upon with regret, then it isn’t worth fussing about now.
– Set reasonable expectations. Just the other day, I had a goal to paint 3 rooms in one day. Was it reasonable? Absolutely not! How can you finish 3 rooms painting in 1 day? It just doesn’t happen. But, with my new attitude and overcoming perfectionism, I didn’t get mad or upset about it. I just learned to go with the flow.
– Learn to laugh. Don’t take yourself or anything so serious that you forget to laugh everyday. Striving to be the best will make you miss out on things in life that you may or may not look back on and regret.
No one is going to end up perfect. That is just the hard fact of life. We all need to strive to be our best, but not so much that it hurts us, or hinders other aspects of our life. The best that we are, is the best we can be for everyone else. Learning to get past perfectionism takes time just like everything in life, but it is easy to get trapped in the mentality. If you see yourself stressing out about things way too easily, there is a good chance you need to take a step back and look at the big picture. Maybe take a walk and go from there. I hope you learned something new on this topic, or at least stuck with me until the end
Please stop on over to my blog and say hi! And always remember…