I just got a new water bottle. One of these nice Hawaii only edition Hydroflasks. They’re amazing because if you put ice water in it, I’ve left it in a hot car for a day and there’s usually still ice in it the next day. It keeps things so cold!
Anyway, this water bottle doesn’t have a very wide mouth. But I’ve gotta get the ice in there. I always put it under my ice maker and try to fill it, and the ice cubes always fall all over the floor. So I’ve stopped doing that and instead reach in the ice maker and grab the ice and put it in myself.
The only problem is that I’m grabbing it by the fist full and still drop it all. And then, as it’s crashing down, I am cursing that this dumb ice is all over my floor that warps really fast from water. I’m filling this water bottle with two kids in the running car, ice spilled all over the floor, freaking out about the water on the floor boards, when all I really wanted was to make sure I had a drink with me when we went out.
Maybe this isn’t that dramatic to you. It’s just the filling of a stupid water bottle. My water is the thing I leave last most, and then I’m rushing and racing to fill it carelessly and end up with a mess. It’s just one of those icing on the cake type of situations for me though. Actually dropping ice on the floor isn’t the problem. It’s all the things surrounding the situation and the rushing and failing and feeling of defeat.
As silly as it is, this whole water bottle story is a close mirror to my life lately. I am grabbing life by the fist full and trying to shove it in too small a space and it explodes all over. And the explosion causes so much anger in me because I didn’t do it right, because now I have a mess to clean up when I’m rushing away. And the only reason I’m really reaching for life by the fist full is because I want to be filled in the first place.
After many ice cube dropping incidents, I’ve learned to take one or two ice cubes at a time and place them nicely in the water bottle. Not very efficient, but more work up front equals less mess cleaning and outbursts of “omg not again, THE FLOORS!” from me.
I’m learning so much right now about life and what I am “grabbing” at. I’m currently reading Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley. And while it’s not the most profound thing I’ve ever read, the underlying theme is simplicity. I think it’s something we all want and yet our culture and society does not prioritize or make easy to achieve at all. I know I have the wrong ideas about simplicity and think a simple life is boring and unfulfilled, but really it’s beautiful and gives us room for actual LIFE.
My plate has been at max capacity and then some for a while now, whether it’s about friendships, personal work, the expectations I put on myself, my kids, and my family – it’s not working. And for a while I’ve been in the putting-my-arms-up-in-surrender phase. Getting from chaos to coordinated hasn’t been a one and done process for me though.
Lately, I’m learning that I have to grab things one at a time and not bite off more than I can fit on my plate. And every time I bite off one more piece, another piece has to go. That’s simply how it works for me.
Right now, I’m choosing to focus on our life at home and our family. These years will only be here for a short time and I want to make them count. I’m starting home school preschool for Claire soon, which got a lot of interest on Instagram, so I hope so share more about that journey here soon. For me, I’m training for a half-marathon but just recently quit my gym so I can focus more on running (which is a family affair these days anyway). Any time I add something, I have to subtract another.
As much as I have been an on-the-go always out type of mom, I want to relish more in our own space, make more time for friends and going to the park. I thought this year would be a big year for my photography business but I have very little interest. I know I will still do things and have some neat work, but it’s just on the back-burner right now and that’s okay.
A simple life is a choice, but I feel it’s one that’s totally worth making. There are sacrifices, because that means I can’t go to every single event and must suffer the FOMO (lol) or maybe not be as social as I used to be, but maybe my car won’t be such a mess because we won’t live in it all the time and my Target bill won’t be so high because I’ll choose to stay home instead of go out every time I’m bored. I want to take time for the things that really matter, even if it means picking up one ice cube at a time.
Questions for You:
- Have you had a season of “grabbing life by the fist full?”
- Do you have a hard time saying no to things or taking things off your plate?