I remember when that used to actually mean something. Now I am a mom *insert crying laughing eyes here*
That I have been suffering from perinatal anxiety since the start of the new year. Basically, it’s like getting postpartum depression/anxiety before the baby even arrives. I honestly feel like my whole pregnancy was super easy and smooth sailing until 28 weeks. Then it felt like a light switch flipped and my anxiety was suddenly sky high.
This isn’t something I really want to talk about, but it’s also something I don’t want to hide either, because I think it explains a lot about my life right now and maybe some of you can relate. I talked to my doctor about it and she was more than willing to give me a prescription for anxiety. But having no track record with the medication she prescribed and the fact that it’s not exactly for sure safe during pregnancy (or the affects of how it affects the baby aren’t really known) does worry me. I’ve decided to start some counseling and keep the prescription in mind for once I have the baby.
I’d also say that overall I am really struggling with this pregnancy now. I got extremely sick right at the same time my anxiety peaked. So I was not really able to do anything and it felt like my whole life was put on hold for about two weeks while I recovered from being sick. I had to cancel photo sessions, basically lie on the couch for a few days and felt like I was dying (I seriously never do this). And since then I’ve been playing catch up and it all just stresses me out so bad! I hope I can just make it through the next few weeks.
I’m giving up Facebook for Lent. And probably taking a huge step back from social media (again). My anxiety and social media go hand in hand and I feel like now is not the time to keep wasting scrolling on a news feed. While I’d like to cut down on all social media, Facebook is the most addicting but least satisfying to me right now. Anyone else feel like it’s just so annoying these days?
I’m really really excited for my new daughter to arrive. I feel like it took a lot longer for the excitement feeling to settle in. We just recently really organized both the girl’s rooms (that’s so weird to say!). It helped me to physically see that this new baby has her own space now with things all just for her.
It’s also been terribly bittersweet for me. I definitely think this is my last baby, but it’s so hard to think that this is only my second baby but also my last. I don’t feel ready to go through the baby days again only one more time! I just know how fast it will go since I’ve been through it and this time I’m sure will be even faster since I can’t devote all my attention to the new baby.
Our dryer has been broken for over two weeks now. It’s a long story, but it was broken for about a week. It got fixed and I tried to do as much laundry as I could since I was way behind. Then it broke again the next day.
Not having a dryer while potty training has been quite inconvenient too! I need to wash all the towels! I’m pretty disappointed though as our washer and dryer were brand new in July. I can’t believe something would already break on a brand new appliance, but I keep hearing that they “don’t make stuff like they used to.” Since I just had to do some laundry, I let things air dry in a closed room with a fan and dehumidifier on. Not ideal but it actually worked great!
I’m having a mommy & me photo session with Claire next week. At first, I didn’t think I really needed or wanted this, but I recently did one for one of my own clients who wanted to document “just the two of them” one of last time. And after that session, I was sold. I’m really excited to work with a very talented photographer right before she moves away and get some hopefully tender and sweet memories of our last time as just the two of us. And speaking of that, I totally forgot to share some of my recent maternity photos. Maybe I’ll put those up next week!
I hope you have a good weekend! I’m doing some newborn sessions, hoping to do some organizing, and going to church. 🙂
- If we were having coffee today, what would you tell me?
- Do you feel like you’re in a high or low point in life right now?