I took yesterday off from blogging without any reservations. After my post from Tuesday, I just needed a mental break.
I feel like I’ve been glued to the news and reading the many Boston-related posts in the blog world. I’m amazed and moved at the thoughts shared, but after so much, I was and still am mentally exhausted.
Change of Plans
It’s incredible to me how this event has completed shifted my thinking. Before it happened, I was caught up on many to-do list tasks that were so important to me. I was focused on things like getting my apartment clean, doing organization challenge stuff, running errands, etc. But after what happened, I could honestly care less about those tasks. So I’ve let them go…
I talked about my goals for the week on Monday, which, looking back, I can’t believe I titled that post “A Regular Monday“… But I’m actually throwing all those goals out the window.
- My desire to deep clean my apartment on Monday was unrealistic after what happened. So I left the apartment a mess until Wednesday. Very unlike me, but I just couldn’t care about cleaning and all the effort that goes into that when part of me is so crushed in spirit.
- I didn’t start the book of Mark because I’ve been spending time reading over my favorite verses for comfort and clarity. I thank God that His word overcomes any lies that the world tries to tell me. His word is truth, and I’m taking this time to focus on it instead of the world. I’ll start Mark when I start it.
- I also wanted to clean out my closet this week, but again, this task just seems trivial… I’ll probably try to get to it on the weekend just to do it, but my drive to do it is pretty much gone.
I’m fine with letting go of these goals for the time being. The Lord has given me total peace about putting ordinary tasks on hold to process, mourn, reflect, and offer my heart and prayers to Him.
The one thing (besides prayer and focusing on the Lord’s goodness) that is going well for me this week is running… I feel weird even saying that, but it’s true.
I ran 3 miles on Monday, in total joy for the Marathon. I was riding on a high of those stronger and faster than me, letting their strength vicariously resonate within me.
I ran 3 miles on Tuesday in total numbness for those lost, but also in prayer for them. It was a painful run – a complete 180 from the mindset I’d had just the day before. But I did it.
I took Wednesday off, despite the great weather and my desire to run because of the fact that I can. And I ran 5 miles today. And I will keep on running…
To say I’m actually “back to reality” is a lie. But through running, prayer, and time, I know we’ll all get there.
Boston Post Love: