I kind of almost forgot it was Mother’s Day this coming weekend because my move and change of time zones has had me a little off kilter!
I thought of posting some sappy “I love everything about being a mom” type of post in honor of Mother’s Day. I do love being a mom to its core, but I was feeling something a little more real instead. Ya’ll always seem to go for those posts anyway, so enjoy.
Last year was my first Mother’s Day. Claire was born a mere 25 days before Mother’s Day. Because the “I just became a mom” feeling also collided with “I can actually celebrate Mother’s Day this year” feeling, I had some high expectations.
In true womanly crazed postpartum fashion I, of course, did not communicate any of my wants for Mother’s Day to my poor sleepless husband who was in all seriousness doing the best he could with the scary new version of his wife and this gremlin baby who was seemingly sucking the life out of both of us day by day.
But I totally expected him to read my mind anyway. I mean, it was my first Mother’s Day. The battle wounds of my delivery were still not healed, I was sure my nipples were going to fall off. I deserved gold in my mind.
I was picturing any or all of the following: flowers for sure (the nice kind, not the grocery store kind), possibly breakfast in bed (really meaning feed me food for real and absolutely breakfast in bed), really nice jewelry, some cute “I love mom” type of gift like a picture frame or what not, chocolate, a massage/pedicure/manicure gift card (for all three, duh), a really nice card, a gift basket with all kinds of cool things in it. You know, nothing unreasonable.
I mentioned that Claire was 25 days old on Mother’s Day. So, not even a month old yet. My mother was also visiting that weekend. So we not only had a very small newborn but we had a house guest. I’m pretty sure the week of Mother’s Day he had also just returned from work from paternity leave too. So not exactly the best time for my husband to craft up some awesome gift for me.
What did I get for my first Mother’s Day?
I got a nice card and four quarter pound bags of high quality coffee beans from Whole Foods. I got something! But in my mind, I was so incredibly disappointed. I actually opened it and thought it was insulting because I was like, Oh, I’m so tired you think I need coffee?!?! Which I absolutely did. It was true. I just didn’t want to be reminded that we were in fact not sleeping at all.
When I told my husband I was disappointed with my gift, he was of course disappointed that I even said that because uhh, he got me something. And he did go out of his way to get me something that I would like. I LOVE coffee. I had just gotten a French press for my birthday two months before, but because I was pregnant still, I hadn’t drank much coffee recently. He thought it was a good idea to finally get me some fresh beans for the press and help me with starting to drink coffee again. Why that wasn’t good enough, I sometimes still wonder.
I remembered this story lately as I’ve seen all the ads for Mother’s Day. Get mom this material thing. Prove that you love her. Do all these extravagant things for this kind of made up holiday.
This year, I was honestly disgusted with Mother’s Day commercials and every store putting out a display of what to get moms.
Do I believe in the holiday? I do think it’s nice to have a day where we thank moms. But I think our culture has gotten a little out of hand with this stuff. I wish we celebrated what moms do more than just once a year and not with material things (all the time, anyway).
Last week as my husband and I were packing up the house in Texas and getting ready to jet set to Hawaii, I mentioned something about sending our moms cards or something.
And then I said, “This year for Mother’s Day, I’m not expecting anything.” And that’s the truth.
Regardless of what your expectations are for the holiday, please communicate them! In hindsight, it’s so easy for me to see why I was disappointed. At the time though, I was upset that my husband didn’t “just know” what I wanted.
I know it sometimes seems dumb to have to spell things out, but if you really want the blender for Mother’s Day and not another breakfast in bed or massage gift card you always forget to use, say so! I’m sure whoever is gifting you would rather you have something you really want than something you don’t. Or maybe despite what you get, choose to be grateful for it even if it doesn’t “speak your language” and don’t compare what you do/don’t get to other moms either. Maybe she got the nice necklace because she told him she wanted it. 😉
Questions for You:
- What’s your take on Mother’s Day as a holiday/time to celebrate?
- Worst or best Mother’s Day or gift you’ve gotten for it?